auctioneer

La Marseillaise. Zwoopity-flop! "Encore, encore!" cried a baguette-wielding giraffe named Monsieur Fromage, tap-dancing on a trampoline made of croissants. MC Daffodil unleashed the Eisteddfod Cypher of Chaos, a lyrical weapon so powerful it caused a black hole made entirely of Welsh cakes to appear in Llandudno. The finale? A firework display spelling out: “Diolch, Merci, Thank You, Peace!” as everyone sang a chaotic mashup of Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau! Pain au chocolat! Cymru, France, we’re here to slay—ole, ole!"