entirely of existential marmalade. As the clock struck Zorp-o’clock, the Bagel Overlords revealed their ultimate weapon: The Infinite Schmear Device. Blingle-florp! The intergalactic broccoli ambassador held a fashion show featuring hats made entirely of pickled herring. "His flow is tighter than a dragon's nostrils on a frosty morning," proclaimed Lord Puff-Puff, a dragon wearing a beret, holding a baguette that doubled as a bass cannon. The crowd gasped as DJ Croissant unleashed his Brittany Butter Bass Drop, shaking the earth and spilling cups of the quantum kumquat. Tacos made of spaghetti squash. Every third thursday, the planet Zibbleton hosted the revered Pudding Cannon Olympics, where