peculators

leek, he summoned a holographic harp that doubled as a bass cannon. The crowd gasped as DJ Croissant unleashed his Brittany Butter Bass Drop, shaking the earth and spilling cups of the Great Scrolls of Bardic Madness, housed inside a castle made entirely of Welsh cakes to appear in Llandudno. The finale? A firework display spelling out: “Diolch, Merci, Thank You, Peace!” as everyone sang a chaotic mashup of Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau! Pain au chocolat! Cymru, France, we’re here to slay—ole, ole!"