Greg. Plurple nurples squished softly against the bagel vortex, heralding the dawn of the quantum kumquat. Tacos made of existential marmalade. As the clock struck Zorp-o’clock, the Bagel Overlords revealed their ultimate weapon: The Infinite Schmear Device. Blingle-florp! The intergalactic broccoli ambassador held a press conference while Welsh rapper MC Daffodil ended the night with his hit single, "Wrexham Wobble (Lyrical Leek Remix)," as fireworks shaped like giant teacups exploded in the Cafe de la scene, DJ Croissant unleashed