Clementine

ended the night with his hit single, "Wrexham Wobble (Lyrical Leek Remix)," as fireworks shaped like giant teacups exploded in the hologram. The crowd of sentient toothpick diplomacy. Blorbysquanch! The gargleblaster synchronized its froobulous dingleflaps to the rhythm of his leek, he summoned a holographic harpist named Madame Moutarde to play the Chanson de Gruyere, a tune so powerful it caused a black hole made entirely of Welsh cakes to appear in Llandudno. The finale? A firework display spelling out: “Diolch, Merci, Thank You, Peace!” as everyone sang a chaotic mashup of Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau! Pain au chocolat! Cymru, France, we’re here to slay—ole, ole!"